I took a job that I was not particularly eager of doing but it was the only chance I had to get my working visa sorted. It wasn't a dream job but the learning opportunities that comes with it, made it up. It was a small team and my colleagues were excellent human being. But, it wasn't something that I thrived in. Eventually, I left the job. I thought with a spouse visa, I could do anything I want. I was WRONG! I am married to a non-Japanese national, so to be able to work in Japan, I had to obtain a special permit and the working hours was limited up to 28 hours per week. Japan BROKE me. Once again, I fell into DEPRESSION. I'm feeling STUCK. Slowly, I can feel the fire inside me DIED DOWN. I lived like a zombie. NO PURPOSE, only SURVIVING.

But, even so, I could not ignore the voice that tugging inside me to look for a teaching job. I LOVE teaching. I feel JOY when I teach. The sparks in my student's eyes when they got their a-ha moment, LIGHTS ME UP. I began hustling for teaching jobs. One thing lead to another, I made my way into a position in a university in Japan. All the time I was still on a SURVIVAL mode. I was looking for a CONNECTION in the wrong place. I ended up SACRIFICING BOUNDARIES, in a desperate attempt for OUTER APPROVAL and feeling SELF WORTH again. Not to mention every year, my ANXIETY sky-rocketed whenever I had to renew my working visa. I was loosing myself and spiraling down into the ABYSS. My depression and anxiety was WORSEN with toxic working environment. The STRESS caused me a miscarriage. I was in PIECES. Then one day, I had a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN at work, they had to call an ambulance. I took one month leave. I couldn't stop CRYING or getting out of the bed. I remember thinking I CANNOT do this by myself. I NEED HELP.

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I reached out to an organization here in Japan and started seeing a therapist and taking medication. Both approaches helped me to somewhat put a halt to the spiraling down. I learned about IMPOSTER SYNDROME. I didn't know it was a thing. Realization slowly turned into learning and so my journey to HEALING begun.

I knew I needed to FORGIVE myself. I seek for a therapist that could help me walk through the process, and I was lucky I found one. I gathered COURAGE facing my FEAR OF REJECTION and started applying for jobs.

Prior to my nervous breakdown, I attended a meeting where I listened to a woman's presentation on how she started her business in Japan. We ended up connected because we turned out adopting our dogs from the same organization. I remembered she mentioned about seeing a shaman and gained clarity of what she needs to be doing in the midst of her own ordeal. I reached out to her, wondering if she could introduced me to her shaman. At that point, I was ready to invest and make a change in my life. I was DONE SUFFERING. She introduced me to a life coach instead.

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My past experience taught me to be skeptic. I came to the session barely convinced she could help me. I wasn't prepared for a POWERFUL REALIZATION. Something SHIFTED and TRANSFORMED in that first session, and I cannot go back to the person I was before. I was given tools to moving forward. Despite my FEAR, I started rolling the balls. Then everything seemed to start moving forward. Painfully slow at first but they began to picking up speed, so fast I had a hard time believing. Everything I told my coach, I wanted to have in my life but I thought was IMPOSSIBLE, I'm living it now. A teaching job where I can feel CONNECTION with my students, a bigger home with mountain and ocean view, a HEALTHY working environment. All that, simply because I was guided and given tools to rekindle my fire.

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Something SPARKED within me. I STRONGLY FELT that life coaching is my CALLING. If you are TRUE to yourself, when something is tugging your heart, it's impossible to ignore it. I started looking for more information about LIFE COACHING. I joined a life coach academy but I sat it out for about a year until I couldn't ignore it anymore and took the LEAP OF FAITH, following my GUTS. I completed the coaching training program and I am now a CERTIFIED RESULT COACH. My next goal is to get Associate Certified Coach (ACC) credential with International Coaching Federation (ICF).

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Life is a JOURNEY. Just like the Japanese proverbs "yama ari, tane ari", we will face UPS and DOWNS. Sometimes we will fall really hard that we break into pieces. But like the kintsugi, our past doesn't define us. It is what we do with it, that define us. We can either leave it broken, or mend it and make it whole again with GOLD. Sometimes we need help to get started, and that's okay. Sometimes we need a little help to move forward, and that's okay. Sometimes, we need someone to shine the way, and that's okay. But ONLY YOU can make the journey. As a life coach my work is to guide you to look inside you, and RECONNECT with your AUTHENTIC self. Then giving you the tools to CONQUER your LIMITING BELIEFS, so you can take strides on YOUR BECOMING journey.

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